Summarized from “Awaken the Giant Within” by Anthony Robbins
1. Decide what you really want, and what is preventing you from having it.
The first step is deceptively simple: sit down, search within yourself and find out what your true, most inner desire is. Doing this soul-searching is imperative to help you find your path in life. A map is useless without two points of interest: where you currently are and where you want to be. By knowing where we are headed and where we stand, we then have something to set our compasses by and are able to begin imagining the journey that lies before us.
Discovering this ultimate mountain peak of dreams is vital in life, as the years slip away and you end up somewhere and as someone that you never wanted to be. The second part of this step is looking at what is preventing you from having your dreams. What roadblocks do you see in front of your goal?
2. You get what you focus on: good or bad.
You must next choose to change your focus; it will greatly affect your journey. The roadblocks you found in step one, they aren’t a hindrance but an opportunity to grow, adapt, even to profit! The world is truly what you make of it. Life is as hard as you think it is with the challenges as daunting as you make them out to be.
3. Interrupt the pattern.
People have a tendency to sink into a pattern, sticking to the same routine day to day, then finding themselves unsatisfied with their life’s direction. What do you do that is keeping you from your dreams? Toxic relationships, bad habits or unsatisfying work routines are among the most common.
Whatever it is, the important part is to hit the brakes on the train and shortcut the system. Drive a different way to work. Change up your wardrobe. Move your bed to the other side of the room. Go on a vacation. You need to clear the slate for your mind and open the space for new plants to grow in your mind garden.
4. Create a new empowering alternative.
When you stop a negative behavior or addiction you need to replace it with something that offers the same benefits that the behavior provided. You had that behavior for a reason and the new behavior needs to provide the same or more benefits than the old behavior or you will slip back into your old behavior.
For example, smartphones and the addictive applications they hold offer a ready source of dopamine with their constant blings, pings, and boops of social approval. To remove the constant cell phone checking behavior, you need to find a beneficial source of dopamine which creates the same mental reward while also resulting in a subsequent step toward success. This new habit will be personal to you and your journey.
5. Condition the new pattern until it is consistent.
The fifth step is working the behavior into your pattern, repeating it until it continuously produces the desired result and becomes second nature.
The opinions differ on how long one must repeat the new pattern until it has been recorded as a habit in your mind. Researchers at University College London found that it took a little over two months for a habit on average to become conditioned.
6. Test the new pattern and check back with the other steps.
The final challenge I give to you is to go over all of the previous steps like a checklist and then really dig deep in answering these questions:
- Is the new behavior helping you towards your goal or overcoming a roadblock or challenge? Does it help you grow in a positive direction?
- Has the old behavior been removed completely from your pattern?
- Is this behavior a better alternative or should it be replaced?
- Is this new behavior consistent and part of your pattern?
We are simple creatures; each of our decisions comes from what we associate with pain or pleasure. The secret to taking control of your own life is to combine appropriate neurons to the relevant stimuli, creating unconscious habits that benefit you in the long term instead of the short term.
Sometimes the pain comes from a memory, in which case, you can replay the memory for yourself as if you were watching a movie, then again as an old silent film complete with musical score. Try recalling the same memory over and over again until you can no longer remember this incident without the additional positive layers you have created. This causes you to disassociate pain with the memory and instead associate a little pleasure to it the next time it comes up in your mind.
Your path to sucesss is before you, I can only show you the door, you must walk through it.
Eric Deegear is an entrepreneur, author, therapist, motivational speaker & business coach. He holds a psychology degree and several therapeutic licenses. After creating and applying successful principles in his personal life, he began to utilize his skills professionally to help those looking to change their lives for the better.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the incredible amounts of deep inner work that are required for life and work. Change happens one step at a time with Deegear Coaching.